Dose this sound like a 8th grade reserch paper it long sorry and is there any mistakes if so plz tell me?

In your opening paragraph, you have two sentence fragments and I am not sure what your thesis is. You need to develop a clearer topic sentence: "Telling how he affected us during and after the civil war. Also how he got involved in the military." This does not make sense. Also, you have lots of punctuation, grammar and spelling errors. You forgot to capitalize Grant's name, but you mistakenly capitalized Throat? It should be pall bearers, not Paul bearers... they were not carrying a guy named Paul. Your conclusion sentence is a run-on. All in all, this essay is a mess. You have a good start, but you need to fix all of the mistakes.